My Life Lessons

I may only be in my late 20’s, but what life has thrown into my path this far already has taught me so much. Over the past few years, I have been putting together my own little list of lessons to myself. Little reminders of the most important things that I need to remember on a daily basis.

I have been blessed with many opportunities and obstacles to overcome which have taught me a world of wisdom (I’m not in any way trying to say I know how to live the perfect life, but I am learning each and every day how to live a happier one through these lessons).

Music has always been and, I suspect, will always be the medium through which I can release all my emotions. The way I can deal with the highs and the lows of life and gain some perspective to what is going on around me.

But sometimes, you just need a short and sweet one-liner to snap you back. Sometimes when things are going wrong you just need the right words to set you back on track, you know?

So far, I have 12 life lessons which I have outlined for you all here.

These are the ones I read daily, and they have led me in better directions since I have learned them. I think as humans we all need the experience of a situation before we can truly learn the lesson we need to, or in simple terms, we need to learn the hard way. And trust me, I’ve never once learned the easy way!

I hope that you can gain some insight or wisdom from the lessons I have learned so far, I’m sure there will be more to come!


1. If something you want to do feels wrong, it is.

You know when you have that feeling in your gut that you shouldn’t do something, you know with every inch of your body that it won’t be good for you? But the thought of it seems so exciting and inviting that you long to do it? The excitement draws you in, and in the long run you realise you should have listened to yourself.

Well, I have come to learn that, sometimes the thrill of whatever it is that is drawing you in will be nowhere near as strong as the pain it may cause you later on. The very first person you need to learn to trust is yourself. So do it.


2. If someone says they aren’t ready, they aren’t.

Sometimes in life, words do mean more than actions.

That might seem opposing to everything we’ve always heard about actions speaking louder than words, but I think it really depends on the situation.

At times, people will tell you that they aren’t ready, or that they don’t want to do something. But then they will follow you in doing it anyway. You know that thrill that I spoke about above in my first lesson? When you know you shouldn’t do something but you do anyway, even though you know it won’t be good for you?

Well, sometimes we need to allow people the space to listen to themselves as well. Don’t push. It’s not always about what you want.


3. Money is not the root of all evil, fear is.

They say money is the root of all evil. Yes it leads to greed, and loneliness, and want, and a range of other emotions that are not really ideal for a life full of happiness and gratitude.

But, is it really the worst thing in the world? I personally don’t think so.

I think that we deny ourselves the most through our fears. We deny ourselves opportunities every day because we fear failure, rejection, being judged, embarrassing ourselves or the simple fact that we might show how flawed we are.

But what if we shed those fears? Just imagine how much we could accomplish, how fast we would grow as people and how happy we would be if we weren’t afraid all the time.


4. The secret to happiness is in the acceptance of yourself.

This might seem so simple, but so many of us struggle with this.

We all hear the mantras daily about loving ourselves but many of us don’t. We hide our flaws from others and while we are trying to project our ‘perfect’ selves out into the world a lot to the time we forget to actually be ourselves.

With some gratitude for what we have, and some love of what makes each and every one of us unique, we can truly find happiness within ourselves.


5. If you don’t like what someone else says to you, you can walk away.

This is one I have been learning more and more recently.

Why fill your life with negativity by responding to someone? You don’t need to say anything, you don’t even need to think anything. That person has their own life to live, and their own lessons to learn. And the biggest lesson you can teach yourself is to just let them go and do just that. Just walk away.

Next!


6. Failure is good.

Now don’t mistake this as a literal statement. What I mean by this is that every time you try to do something and it doesn’t work out, analyse why and try again.

Nobody knows how to do anything perfectly the first time around. It takes trial and error. And those errors are what teaches us what we need to change and adapt to do better the next time.

This one relates to work, goals and even your own happiness!


7. When anger arises, step away until it dissipates.

Similar to above, why add more negativity to a situation?

If somebody does something to annoy you, or that you simply find frustrating, instead of lashing out step away and find a peaceful place to breathe and realise what it is that is really motivating your annoyance.

Fire does not put out fire, and not only will your anger create a totally negative atmosphere for everything, it will also make you unhappy.

So breathe, things can be worked out without getting your blood pressure up!


8. Keep yourself open to different perspectives, you aren’t always right.

We are all completely unique, and this also includes our opinions and what is most important to us in the world.

What may be everything to you, may not be to somebody else, and that is ok. The most important thing to remember is that our uniqueness is what makes each of us beautiful, it’s what makes the world so interesting.

Sometimes by listening to someone else’s opinion or story, you might even learn something you’d never even considered before!


9. Whatever it is that you think you can’t handle, you can, and you will.

From someone who has had their fair shares of issues, obstacles and mental health difficulties, trust me when I say I have had many days when I thought that I couldn’t handle something.

Now, however, I have a healthier perspective. Now I will either take a step back and come up with a plan of action to tackle whatever it is that might seem so impossible, or I will realise that some things cannot be changed and instead focus on what lesson I can learn from this particular situation.


10. Heal your wounds.

Mental health is one of the most important things we can look after, especially today with social media and all of the negativity fed to us on a daily basis.

But, one thing I have noticed is that, when it comes to a physical wound, people will automatically run to the first aid kit or the medicine cabinet and take something to help heal whatever ails them. It’s about time we started to do the same for our mental health as well.

So, find whatever it is that is healing to you, and do it. Regularly.


11. If you want something in life, do the work to get it.

How disappointing would it be, if at the end of your life, you looked back and seen that you had spent all that time waiting for that magical day to come when all of your dreams come true, and it never did?

How about, instead, you focus on your goals and everything you want from your life, and break it down into small steps? Take each day at a time, and work towards building the life that you want and who you want to be.

I’m starting to see every day through this exact practice, just how many unbelievable and amazing things happen, when you’re working towards your end goal.

Even if you never achieve the complete end goal, you can take my word for it, you’ll be happy with all you will have accumulated along the way!


12. Your moods are contagious. Share positive energy.

They say sneezes are contagious. But did you know that smiles are too?

Have you ever heard someone laughing so hard that you couldn’t help but laugh along too? Even when you had no idea what they were laughing at?

Well, you may not need to go to that extreme all of the time (although it is definitely always cathartic to have a good laugh!) simply having a positive outlook on life can be contagious. You’ll be amazed how many people around you will catch on to your way of thinking and, without even realising, make it their own too!


So, there you have it. The most important lessons I have learned so far.

I hope some of them have been enlightening for you, or at the very least you had an enjoyable read!

Now, go and learn your own lessons, spread positivity into the world and have a fantastic day!

Happy New Year, Now #LetsBeReal

Happy New Year everybody and thank you to each and everyone of you for your amazing support throughout 2018. I wouldn’t have been able to achieve as much as I did without you all, so thank you xx


In 2018 I hit lots of new goals but my biggest one was the search for happiness, and I am still on a journey towards it but each day I learn a little bit more about myself, I am a little bit more grateful for what I have, am a little more accepting and loving of who I am and continue to learn new lessons. Sometimes things we are taught as children go completely out the window as we grow older; they seem so simple that we take them for granted and neglect them completely.

This year as I continue on my journey, my main focus is mental health. And I would like you all to accompany me. The first issue with regard to mental health I would like to tackle is with regards to self-image.

Self image is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager, and I know so many other people who have as well. It’s only in the past two years that I have consciously been trying, and learning, to embrace and love myself. With the start of the New Year we usually start with a ‘new me’ mantra, but this year I am doing something different. To start this year off my mantra instead is ‘this is me.’

So for the next 31 days of January I invite you to join me where each evening I will be posting a photo. Not the usual photos, with the right lighting, and the perfect make-up, and the well thought out locations, etc. REAL photos. You know those photos that are taken and you think “No! Not that one! Don’t post that one on social media!” Well, those ones. The photos where I feel insecure about something, but why?

We all have those things that we see that nobody else sees and talk negatively to ourselves over and over about them. We fear other people judging us (to their standards I might add, not our own) because they do. And then we judge ourselves on top of that as well. 

Each one of us is unique and different and beautiful, and people regularly make comments like “oh you would be so beautiful if you had long hair”, or “this would happen if you dressed this way”, or “you’d be prettier with less/more make-up”… Stop!! Just, no! You are beautiful exactly the way you are. We need to stop judging each other, and more importantly, judging ourselves.

The world of social media that we live in now means that every single one of us is able to filter or photoshop our own photographs, and Instagram and Facebook and everywhere else is full of pictures of how people want to look. But it isn’t always exactly how they actually look. One thing I have found, from talking to so many people, is that they wish they had the confidence to feel like they looked good. And I hear them telling other people how good they look but they can’t do the same for themselves and that is a real shame. They also spend so much time wishing they looked like somebody else, or judging themselves against other people. And the saddening thing about this is while they are thinking the grass is greener for somebody else they are completely neglecting and missing their own beauty.

At the end of the day true beauty, like the old-fashioned saying that we have all heard all our lives but refuse to let sink in, comes from within. That radiance that makes your skin glow doesn’t come from make-up and lighting, it comes when you are happy and it is beaming out of you. And one of the biggest steps, I have found, towards feeling truly happy within yourself is becoming comfortable with who you are inside and out.

I have been battling with mental health issues for as long as I can remember, a lot of which I never accepted myself until recently and a lot of which I am still on a journey to overcome and learn to live with. Many of them I have never opened up about, not just to the Internet but also to people really, really close to me. Last year I made some really big steps on my journey to discovering myself. And this year I would like to be open about it. I don’t do this for attention or vanity, but I won’t lie, I am in part doing this for me. I need to stop hiding these dark parts of who I am from the world so that I can embrace every aspect of myself.

But, I am also doing this for you, anybody and everybody who has insecurities, who may be struggling with mental health issues or any other kind of issues that they feel they can’t open up about.

One by one, as we open up we can start to change the world, one tiny step at a time. So, for 2019, I am taking my first steps towards the type of world that I want to live in. Every single one of us has a part to play in this world, and I would like to make it a positive one.

Absolutely none of us should ever feel second-best to anybody else, because we aren’t. We should never feel better than anybody else either, because we aren’t. Instead of judging each other, we need to start embracing each other because we are human and we need to start acting like it.

So for the month of January I will be posting a daily photograph on Instagram, and will share it here on my blog too and I invite you to post yours too with #LetsBeReal and #NoNotThatOne. I hope you will join me in this, it’s sure to be an interesting month! And please do feel free to post, comment and message me with your stories, we’re all in this together remember!x

The Story behind ‘ Somebody Cares at Christmas ‘

As the well-known Andy Williams song goes “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”. And for lots of people that is true, but for many, many others this is not the case.                                                                                                                                        

We have all been witnessing, more and more frequently over the past few years, people losing their homes, starving, struggling to get affordable medical treatment, losing their basic rights to free speech and choice; the list goes on. In an era of great technological advance, that benefits us greatly in so many ways; in so many other ways it is destroying people. It is destroying the relationships that are most important to us. It is destroying the true connections that we need as people. And it is destroying our mental health.I’ve heard many discussions about how people are determining their self-worth and value from likes and shares on social media; I’ve seen people lost in scrolling through news feeds on their phones missing out on real conversations happening right beside them and I’ve witnessed people arguing with each other or about things online without any real interest in doing anything to help.Our eyes are wide open to our screens, but, in reality, they are closed tightly.


Before it’s too late, before we lose our humanity and every one of us is lost behind a screen completely alone, many of us need a reality check. What is really important to us? 

Validation from people online? Escapism through social media?

Or..

Giving those people who we care about the respect of our time and attention, and creating, and (building upon) our relationships?Living in the moment, being present, and breathing in every experience, relationship and feeling, that is right there within our grasp, passing most of us by daily as we miss it completely?
Loneliness is one of today’s biggest issues, that goes unnoticed by so many. While you’re missing out on a connection with someone, someone else is crying out for it. It’s not just the elderly who are feeling lonely, so many of us are. It’s just not something most people will admit, instead preferring to make our lives look full and extravagant online for whoever is interested in looking. But what is real? What should be real?

I wrote this song out of the feelings that arose from these types of problems I see daily. I love Christmas, it’s my favourite time of the year. The end of the year where I can reflect on what I have accomplished, the family come together, traditions, the lights…

But most importantly it’s the friends and family I get to see because it’s Christmas. People I may not get to see too frequently throughout the rest of the year because of everyone’s busy schedules. I care about those closest to me deeply and would do anything for them, and that is what Christmas is about. No matter what else life throws at me, I am lucky to have them. But the same cannot be said of everyone. 

Not everyone has what we take for granted daily. And so, with this song and the message within, I urge you this Christmas to take a few minutes for yourself to reflect. Know what is truly important to you and show those that you care about that you care about them more than anything else. Because, at the end of the day, what could be more important?

And, why not go one step further, and show that you care for people you don’t even know? You don’t have to go overboard but sometimes all someone needs is a smile, a greeting, some patience. The smallest gestures can brighten up somebodies day, and in turn their Christmas.

So, in a world where we all have many, many reasons to feel stressed, alone, sad, angry, frustrated, scared and depressed, it’s always easier knowing you are not alone. Sometimes all you need is someone to be there.

If we do one thing this Christmas, make it count. And make it brighten up someone else’s Christmas xx